I have never been so greived. Just yesterday, before the play, Abraham spoke these very words to me: "We muct both be more cheerful in the future- between the war and the loss of our darling Wille- we have both, been very miserable." And now it seems as though the misery will never end... To think that I was holding his hand when the scoundrel Booth made the fatal shot... And my ivory and white silk fan is stained with blood, a sick reminder of something that I would not be able to forget anyways. I do not think I will ever be able to do anything but mourn for the rest of my life... And I was not even able to tend to him as he lingered before death! The chamber he was in was crowded, and the men in it were not at all symapthetic of my emotion. I collapsed after hearing Abraham making the death rattle, and when I woke again, he was gone. There is nothing that will console me now; it would have been much better if the muderer had gone after me instead of him.
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Monday, February 2, 2009
Surrender at Appomattox
After Abraham's reelection, I prayed for a quick end to the war, and thankfully, my prayers have been answered. Finally, Abraham and I may have some weight lifted off our shoulders. Hopefully, the rest of this presidential term will be uneventful. After this war, we deserve some peace and quiet.
Sunday, February 1, 2009
Vicksburg
I am overjoyed about our victory at Vicksburg! Unfortunately, my half-sister Emilie Helm, who is visiting us here after the death of her husband, does not, and I am afraid will not, share this joy with us. Her husband was a Confederate general, and she finds the oath of allegiance that is neccesary to enter Union territory as a desecration to her husband's grave. To make matters worse, she had to pass through Union territory to return home after General Helm's funeral. Abraham solved this problem by having her brought here with us. Having her here for me to talk to is something I enjoy; however, I fear that her intense loyalty to her deceased husband may end up creating a rift between us.
Wednesday, January 28, 2009
Battle of Gettysburg
On the last day of Battle of Gettysburg, I was thrown from my carriage near Mount Pleasant Hospital, as I am sure has already been publicized. I received a large gash on my head from this fall, and the doctors, who fortunately responded to the accident immediately, said that it was a serious injury. However, I am currently recovering, and it pleases me to hear of the retreat of the rebels during the Battle of Gettysburg. It seems that the tide has turned, although our army suffered many losses and was too exhausted afterwards to make any advances. The death toll reached staggering amounts, though, and I am anxiously awaiting the end of this war. Our life in the White House has been full of worry and strife; hopefully, we will have some time to be in higher spirits.
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Chancellorsville
How General Hooker managed to lose a battle where we outnumbered the Confederates two to one is beyond me. Abraham is currently very disappointed in him, and plans on replacing him, which we discussed when we went to visit wounded soldiers in the hospital again today. Seeing their faces light up when I brought them fruit and read them letters was heartwarming. However, some of Abraham's advisers continue to nag me, telling me that I should allow reporters to accompany me on these visits. I find that idea repulsive; this is a personal undertaking, not a way to get laudatory coverage from the newspapers.
Monday, January 26, 2009
The Emancipation Proclamation
Slavery has finally been outlawed! Although many continue to "harp on my half-brothers [who sided with the Confederates] whom, I never knew since they were infants," I have been an ardent abolitionist for a long time. This is a day that I will always remember and celebrate, and I am very proud of Abraham for making this proclamation. It will certainly cause controversy, but it was the right thing for him to do. Elizabeth and I were discussing ways to improve funds for the Contraband Relief Association, as it would certainly help many of the newly freed slaves if it contained more money. "The immense number of Contrabands are suffering immensely, many without bed covering and having to use any bits of carpeting to cover themselves--many dying of want." However, it is much easier to raise funds for white soldiers than it is for freed slaves.
Mary Todd Lincoln by Jean H. Baker; http://books.google.com/books?id=GdK-xgX0FgQC&printsec=frontcover&dq=mary+todd+lincoln&as_brr=3#PPA274,M1
Friday, January 23, 2009
Battle of Antietam
The Battle of Antietam was a good victory for us, and Abraham is now confident enough to issue a doctine to free slaves. This battle was much better for me than the rest of this year has been. My half brother Sam died at the Battle of Shiloh, which was in April, while my half brother Aleck died more recently, in August. Aleck "made his choice long ago. He decided against my husband, through him against me. He has been fighting against us and since he chose to be our deadly enemy, I see no special reason why I should bitterly mourn his death." On the other hand, my little Willie died towards the end of February... I refuse to wear anything but black, to show that I am still mourning the death of yet another child of mine.
The American Journey
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